Missing the Point
The Decline and Fall of the Nickname
I wasn’t going to post again tonight but I came across this article on Newsweek and just had to respond due to the utter lack of thought shown by the author. First off, “Bazooka” Matsuzaka? You want to nick name a star Japanese pitcher after a precursor of the rocket propelled grenade? That is hardly a nickname, regardless of whether or not it rhymes. While I will agree that there aren’t too many really great nicknames in Baseball, or any sport right now really (ah, who could have thought one could find themself longing for the days of the XFL), nicknaming Dice-K “Bazooka” is hardly a good starting point. A-Rod is A-Rod because he was the first to have his name mashed up like that, all I know is that I prefer that to the people who pronounce his name Rod-dree-guez (THERE IS NO SECOND D!). K-Rod is K-Rod not because his first name starts with a K (unless you have some really creative way for spelling Francisco) because he strikes guys out and gets “K’s.” I do have to agree with him on I-Rod though, Pudge is and always will be Pudge. I also agree that Pronk is pretty much one of the coolest nicknames out there too. However, I have never heard anyone refer to Pedro Martinez as “Petey.” Pedro is Pedro. He has reach the status of going by first name only. When you say you went to see Pedro play, there is only one player who comes to mind. Same with Junior. When you talk about Junior, everyone knows it’s Griffey, not Jose Cruz Jr. And what about Felix Hernandez? Is “El Rey” not good enough? The problem with great nicknames is that it takes great players to carry them. There are all kinds of baseball players who make it to the bigs because they work hard and run out every play, but only Pete Rose got the nickname “Charlie Hustle.” Dice-K may throw the Gyroball but I don’t think it is more intimidating than “Mr Snappy” from Randy Johnson. Jose Reyes may be one of the most exciting shortstops in the game today but no one is going to start calling him “The Wizard (of Oz)” because Ozzie Smith already has that title. Finally, there are so many great names in baseball that don’t even need a nickname. How can you do better than Coco Crisp? You going to nickname your left fielder Fruit Loops? I guess my point is that I don’t really see the point in writing an article criticizing baseball for not having better nicknames. Anyway, I’ve said my piece so I’ll move on. . .
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