I have never been one for apologizing about not posting here on my blog. I typically wait until I have something meaningful to say–at least in my mind–before writing. I have been working through a lot of things in my head the last couple months but I don’t know that any of them are ready for public consumption yet, so I have been woefully slow to publish anything here. Rest assured though I have been doing plenty of writing.

If you’d like to see some of what I’ve been up to, you can check out this series of posts I wrote for the Jolkona Foundation here in Seattle about how their work relates to the UN Millennium Development Goals.

I have also been participating the last few weeks in a writing group based around Julia Cameron’s book The Artists Way. I have been writing three pages a day as part of a “morning pages” exercise for that group. If you’d like to know more about The Artists Way, here’s a link to the book on Amazon.

So all of this is to simply say that I am writing, I hope to return to posting here soon, and hopefully I’ll return with some exciting and inspiring new work and ideas. =]

I spent all of last week laying out my most definitive vision so far for how artists can be at their best, both in their work and their personal life. I wanted to start this week off with a confession of sorts. I am absolutely terrified of the whole identity thing I mentioned at the start of last week. It’s easy to talk about and it sounds liberating and freeing to talk about forging your own identity, but in that freedom there is a terrifying reality: Defining who you are as an artist and a professional creative borders on Herculean in difficulty.

Coaching and encouraging others to be more creative is easy. I can sit down with an accountant or software programmer and set them up with something like 750words.com and feel like I’ve done some good in the world. I’ve helped someone create something and now they feel awesome and I feel awesome by proxy. But when it comes to my own creativity? When it comes to my own attempts at 750words, 280daily, my pen and paper journal, my photography, my blog, my other blog, and my other other blog? I was asked by someone the other day where I write. I had just told this person I was a writer and she logically asked where she could find my work and I found myself back peddling. “Well, I guest posted once on a friend’s blog…” and then I trailed off. I’ve been telling people for the last two years I’m a writer and all the sudden when I get called on it I panic.

And then I go home and sulk because I feel like the totality of my artistic achievements aren’t enough to defend my position and status as a professional artist.

I totally believe that being a professional has more to do with how you practice your craft than how much recognition you get for it in return. Clearly this holds true when you look at the lives of artists like Van Gough who didn’t receive their due recognition until after they died. Would anyone argue that Van Gough wasn’t a professional painter or that Emily Dickinson just liked to doodle? Of course not!

So why then do I feel I have to defend my identity as a writer and a photographer? I think by taking on that mantle of “professional”, working artist means that people take that as permission to judge you based on your work. Not in the sense of if it’s necessarily any good or not, but they want to know how much you ship. Are you actually working and making things or are you just another one of those “struggling artist”, art school types who just hasn’t grown up yet? And so far, if I’m honest, I don’t feel I’ve made enough things. I haven’t shipped.

When I meet a software programmer, I might ask them about what project they are working on at Microsoft or Google or wherever they are; but I won’t ask to see a sample of their code. If you’re a professional creative though, people expect you to have a portfolio of impressive work almost from day one and they expect you to be able to show it to them.

“Oh you’re a writer? What have you done that I might have seen? What have you done that is legitimate? What have you done that I can judge?”

Every once in a while I’ll look at photo service posts over on Craigslist and more often than not I find myself shaking my head and thinking about how much better my photography is than most of what’s there. But the reality is that they’re shipping and I’m not. They’re out taking photos while I bitch and moan about not enough people telling me I’m awesome. I want to say that I don’t care about others opinion of my work, and yet I’m constantly running around going “HERE LOOK AT THIS! ISN’T IT THE COOLEST THING EVER??? I DID THIS! ME, RIGHT HERE!” and then getting all pissy about it when my mom is the only one who cares.

I think the reason we like having “real jobs” is that we don’t have to do that. We don’t live with the perceived fear that if we’re not making awesome things all the time our client base is going to dry up or move across town. In my barista job right now, we’re never going to lose a customer because I make a bad latte. But if you screw up a job as a freelancer you risk losing not just the current client, but you risk this pox mark on your reputation. And that fear of failure, whether real or perceived, is terrifying to me.

But the reality, from everything I’ve seen is this: That feeling never really goes away. You just learn to ignore the fear and ship anyway. And sometimes you’re going to fail and sometimes you’re going to succeed. But if you aren’t shipping, if you aren’t failing or succeeding, then you aren’t really much of anything.

You can live your life constantly apologizing for what you haven’t yet accomplished, or you can hold your head up and keep moving, keep shipping.

Man, I so need a dose of my own medicine from last week.

If this has been at all helpful to you, then yay! my work here is done. Hopefully it has encouraged you to stop creating out of fear and start doing the work you really want to do. As with everything I write these days, this is pretty heavily influenced by several conversations I’ve had with friends and the many writings, keynotes and podcasts of the wonderful Merlin Mann. If you STILL haven’t checked out Back to Work you have no idea what you’re missing.

I had the privilege to again participate in a Taste and Tweet event last night at the icon Grill in the downtown Seattle neighborhood of Belltown. They have a great location on 5th Avenue right under the monorail tracks across from the Westin hotel. They are easy to spot too with a large marquee announcing specials and seasonal menu options. Upon entering, the main dining area is large and welcoming, with an eclectic old fashioned style. The vibe I got was a kind of 1920′s swanky club feel. The Taste and Tweet event was held upstairs in icon’s private dining room. The theme for the evening was items off of icon’s seasonal Oktoberfest menu. Ok, on to the food!

Drinks:

Beer Flight -

Once I got seated in at the table I was offered my choice of a glass of merlot or chardonnay. I’m a white wine guy so I went with the chardonnay. It was nice and crisp, not too spicy (which I’ve had trouble with before) and a great way to start off the meal. The first tasting item that was brought out was a sampler of three Oktoberfest beers currently featured by icon. They ranged from light to dark in color but all were somewhat similar in taste. First was Hofbrau Oktoberfest from Munchen, Germany. This beer just didn’t have a whole lot of flavor in my mind and was probably my least favorite of the three. I’d give it a C+. Next was New Belgium’s Hoptober beer from Colorado. This beer didn’t blow me away either. It did at least have a stronger flavor though, with serious citrus undertones. I’d give it a B. Last was the dark Spaten Oktoberfest, again from Munchen. I figured this was going to be my favorite since I tend to be a fan of dark beer over light, but I was disappointed again by a general lack of flavor. I’d give the Spaten a B-. While it didn’t blow me away, the Hoptober ended up being my favorite of the three. But as you can see, I didn’t drink much of any of them sticking instead with the chardonnay, which I’d give a B+.

Appetizers:

Sausage Flight -

The first food brought out to our table was a sausage sample plate. I’m a big fan of tubular meats so I was definitely looking forward to this part of the evening. It didn’t disappoint. I did, unfortunately, have trouble keeping track of which sausage was which so I can’t say that I necessarily had single favorite, however all were very tasty. There was four varieties in total, German bratwurst, Polish kielbasa, Nurnberger rostbratwurst and fresh lamb sausage. They are served with sides of horseradish and whole grain mustard. I tried some of the mustard with my sausage and it was excellent. My favorite part of this sampler though was far and away the sauerkraut. Icon makes their own house “blend” of sauerkraut that was described by Chef Nick Musser as “starter sauerkraut” for people who don’t think they’ll like it. Well, I like sauerkraut and all I can say is wow! Rather than the usual sour, pickled flavor most sauerkraut has, this has an almost sweet flavor to it. They ran through the various different spices and ingredients they use and I didn’t catch all of them but it’s definitely a unique taste. Sausage: B+; Sauerkraut: A-

Schweineschnitzel Slider -

After the sausage came these little slider sandwiches. Chef Nick explained to us, at some point during the meal, that while icon wanted to serve a traditional German Oktoberfest meal, they also wanted to give it an American spin. So Chef pointed out that while a traditional schnitzel is made with veal, since that can be a little controversial in certain circles here in the US, icon makes theirs with pork cutlets instead. I didn’t hear any complains around the table. These are tasty little “burgers” with a unique flavor and texture. The deep frying gives a nice crispy contrast to what might otherwise be kind of a squishy meal. The lemon aioli used to season and flavor the sandwiches also provides a unique flavor that adds a nice kick to each bite. The fries served on the side are also good. Grade: B+

Nut’n'Honey -

The next thing they brought out as a house drink creation called “Nut’n'Honey.” It was a mix of various liqueurs intended to remind you kind of the adult version of milk and cookies. It was tasty but EXTREMELY strong. I drank enough to enjoy it but didn’t finish my little half glass sampler. Grade: B

Main Dish:

Sauerbraten-

To be honest, at this point in the meal I was a little disappointed. While none of the dishes brought out to us so far were bad, I hadn’t yet been blown away by anything. Well, one taste of this next dish changed all that. Sauerbrauten is roasted beef that has been slow braised in red wine, vinegar, and fresh herbs. Sweet baby Jesus it is good. It’s that kind of awesome that just melts into a juicy amalgam of flavors in your mouth. The taste is intense but not at all overpowering. Absolutely fantastic. It is served with a side of horseradish potato cake that is also excellent. High praise for both these. Grade: A+

Dessert:

Apple Strudel-

This dish was a traditional apple strudel dessert dish served with ice cream. The main twist being the addition of walnuts and raisins, which adds a nice contrast in texture to the softer baked apples and vanilla ice cream. Grade: B+

Final Thoughts:

While I didn’t fall in love with any of the dishes brought out to us (other than the fantastic Sauerbrauten, of course) the over all impression I left icon Grill with is that they do things right. The atmosphere, the food, the drinks, the attitude of the staff were all excellent. I would have no hesitation recommending icon Grill to friends or visitors. On one aside, it is almost worth the price of dinner to take a trip to the men’s bathroom during your meal. Mounted on the wall are two televisions that play a looped video featuring various clips of waterfalls, fire hoses, rivers, and sprinklers set to the music of Flight of the Valkyries to help you over come any stage fright you might experience. Awesome.

A couple related notes:

Since the FTC will start requiring in December that bloggers report any goods or services received in exchange for reviews I figured it would be good to get in the habit starting now. So to be clear, all food and drinks served during the Taste and Tweet event at icon Grill were provided free of charge to me.

Also, if you want to see full sized versions of any of the above images, just head over to my flickr page by clicking here.

I got the chance to have lunch today at the Beachhouse Grill in Kirkland after an invitation to a Taste and Tweet event. The idea is that as various dishes are brought out for us to taste, we would tweet our thoughts. Anyway, here is a little bit more expanded review with all the pics I took in one place…

First up: Mimosas

To be perfectly honest, I’ve never actually had a mimosa before today. My only previous experience with champagne at a wedding left me with a bad taste and the belief that I didn’t like champagne. Well, whether that was just bad champagne at the wedding or adding orange juice to it that makes the difference, I can now say I do like champagne, at least when it’s in a mimosa. GRADE: B

Appetizers:

Wild Spicy Prawns -

Wow, this was one of my favorite dishes of the day, wild prawns in a spicy cream sauce with grilled bread. The amount of heat was just right, spicy enough to add to the flavor without overpowering everything else. It was also the kind of smokey heat that I really like, think the taste of chipotle versus a straight jalapeno pepper. Spread over the bread it makes a great start to a meal. GRADE: A

Tenderloin Skewers -

I was pretty excited for these because it’s hard to go wrong with meat on a stick. There really isn’t much you can mess up with that. Chef Ricky does a pretty good job here doing an overnight marinade and the flavor is excellent. However, of the two pieces I had, one was melt in your mouth tender and one was old shoe leather tough. So that was a little hit and miss. GRADE: B-

Crab Cakes -

Let me preface this bit by saying that crab just isn’t my thing. I’ve always thought it tastes rather bland and boring. These crab cakes were no exception. The mango salsa and chili sauce were fine but not good enough to rescue it in my mind. GRADE: C+

Main Courses:

Beachhouse Burger -

If I could only have burgers from one restaurant for the rest of my life I think my search might be over. This was easily one of the best burgers I’ve ever had. And if you know me and how much I love to grill and experiment with overnight marinades and buffalo meat, you know I have pretty high standards for burgers. Excellent complementary flavors from the sweet caramelized onions, special sauce, melted boursin cheese, and soft fresh roll that serves as the bun. Highly, highly recommend and I will definitely be heading back for a full burger one of these days. GRADE: A+

Beer Battered Halibut Tacos -

I don’t know if it was the fact the burgers were just such a tough act to follow but this dish was a little bit of a let down. I like fish and I like tacos, but these were just a little bland. I think I’d rather just have straight fish and chips. That said, the sweet potato fries served on the side were absolutely wonderful. Such a fun new taste and take on a pretty standard side dish. The avocado salsa was also a nice change of pace from typical guacamole. GRADE: B on the tacos; B+ on the fries

Dessert:

Smores -

I don’t think I’ve ever had smores in a restaurant. All I can say this… why hasn’t anyone done this before? Chef Ricky mentioned he did get the idea first from a restaurant in Hawaii he once visited but seriously, every restaurant should do this. It was an awesome way to end a meal like little kids around the campfire blowing out our burning marshmallows before putting the chocolate and graham crackers together. And bonus points too for doing it right and using Hersey’s rather than some fancy brand of Swiss chocolate. Smores might just be smores, but big points for presentation and execution! GRADE: A-

Conclusion:

So that about does it. I had a great time and was glad to meet some new friends while sharing a fantastic meal. I’m glad this place is only a few blocks from Northwest University because I definitely can see myself going back here for lunch or an early dinner. I forgot to even mention the restaurant itself. It’s a cool old place that has been more refreshed than remodeled as the Beachhouse Grill but it has a fantastic location right on the water. We got a copy of the takeout menu and a couple of the dishes are a tiny bit pricey if you want to be picky but not by more than a dollar or two and they more than make up for it in the quality. All in all, I’d highly recommend the Beachhouse Grill for anyone looking for a casual dining experience on the east side. Thanks Chef Ricky and Taste and Tweet for a great event!

I’m afraid of my camera.

I realize that sounds kind of silly but it’s true. I’m afraid of it because sometimes I feel like it’s a better photographer than I am. When I had my 30D, it wasn’t uncommon for me to bump up against situations where the physical ability of the camera to take a particular shot held me back. It just wasn’t going to happen because of lack of light or lack of video capture mode, etc. Those situations are much fewer and far between now. Which makes me nervous that when I go out and shoot and don’t come back with anything good, it’s my fault not the camera’s.

I realize I’m still “new” to photography and I’m constantly learning how to shoot in different situations, with different equipment, and different lighting. But the realization that I’m now the one holding back my photography is kind of jarring.

I’m also getting tired of “amateur” photographers. Which sounds a little weird since I am always encouraging people to take more photos, so maybe I should qualify that. I’m getting tired of the “amateur” photography Flickr promotes. I’m not a conspiracy theorist so I don’t think it is a kabal of people controlling Flickr, but rather an ethos somewhat akin to the hardcore Lomography crowd. There are a lot of great photographers who are on Flickr and get only a handful of views and comments. Then there are lots of people who take mediocre to decent  photographs but promote an image and lifestyle as a pro and then sit around cross promoting each other to get “Explored” on Flickr.

Lisa Bettany who is a blogger/photographer/geek/Canadian from Vancouver, BC wrote on her blog recently about how to get your images “Explored” on Flickr. While it’s all true and good advice, I think it also points to a lot of what annoys me about the Flickr community. Bokeh is the word used to describe the artistic rendering of out of focus points of light. When most people start talking about “bokeh” they don’t really know what they are talking about. They have some thought in mind that good pictures have “good” bokeh so they start running around tagging every photo with a blurred background as having good bokeh. Lisa also mentions having “Hot Chicks” in your photos helps. I’ve seen some very technically mediocre photos get hundreds of views because the subject is physically attractive.

To be honest and fair, part of me is frustrated because I’m jealous. I get frustrated when I see photos that have hundreds of “favs” or comments when I know I’ve taken similar, better photos. But that’s also one of the things that has kept me from being more involved there. Flickr spends so much time promoting this rebellious self taught style of photography that ethics and philosophy gets thrown by the wayside. Flickr is about becoming web famous. I want a photographic community that isn’t about self promotion but rather about challenging photographers to think about what they do, why they do it, and how they can do it better. I see people like Chase Jarvis, Dane Saunders, and David Hobby pursuing paths like this and it makes me much more excited about my future in photography.

I take photos because I want to tell stories. I take photos because I believe God has given me a gift. I take photos because something inside me compels me to do it. And when I see people who use photography for self promotion, and they succeed at it, it frustrates me to no end. When “old time” photographers complain about how digital has killed the art of photography, I think they miscast a little bit of their frustration. It’s not digital photography (which has in fact opened the door and made it easier for real professionals to do fantastic and amazing things with the medium) that has ruined things, its the people who have started using photography as the means to an end. They are the Perez Hilton’s of the art world.

So this is a little bit of a rambling post that wanders all over the place and is pretty cynical. But I needed to vent a little tonight. Anyway, this is the part where you tell me why I’m wrong. So, what are your thoughts?

I’m a sell out. I think. But I’m not the only one. I think we all are. I think geek culture is dying and I think it’s our fault.

Maybe I should start from the beginning. I’m a 26 year old comic book reading, Josh Whedon adoring, podcast listening, Twitter addicted, iPhone carrying, computer building, photography nerd. These last couple years have been fantastic, the golden age of geekdom if you will. Comic book movies have ruled Hollywood, Dr. Horrible was a huge success, podcasts have risen from weekend projects to full content producing Internet tv channels (ie Rev3), photography has exploded in popularity, and Twitter has connected people in ways not previously possible. In the mainstream media shows like Numb3rs, Chuck, Bones, The Big Bang Theory, and The OC have all highlighted geek as cool. Even in fashion, big plastic rimmed glasses, nerdy t-shirts, jeans, and the messenger bag have become the uniform de jure of the nerdy and hip. It’s been fantastic to see the general public turn from jokes about computer nerds to accepting an understanding of file systems and operating systems as valuable knowledge to be sought out. I think the high water mark of geekdom was when Alex Albrecht and Kevin Rose of Diggnation went on the Jimmy Fallon show to drink beer and talk Twitter. We’ve gone from the margins of the lunch room to the cool kids table. And it feels fantastic.

But this all came at a price, and I don’t think we realized it.

When Ashton Kutcher became the first person with one million followers on Twitter and then Oprah joined and gained hundreds of thousands of followers without even tweeting anything, Twitter went from being about connecting people to being a high school popularity contest all over again. Geek culture, like all sub-cultures, used to be about “cred.” Could you prove you belonged. The “real” world was full of people who didn’t get it or didn’t understand. People who didn’t realize what they were missing out on when we played Lego Star Wars and quoted every missing line in proper voice without subtitles. Didn’t understand why WarGames is one of the greatest movies of all time. People who didn’t stay up until 2am playing text based RPG’s over a modem connection to a local BBS. People who don’t know what a BBS is. It was this cool niche that was small but it was ours. Then one day a couple of the cool kids got kinda interested in what we were up to and instead of playing it close to our chest, we threw open the floodgates and let out a torrent of years of pent up longing to be cool. Spiderman and X-Men made reading comic books cool. We got to wear those things as badges of honor. We were here first and finally someone cared about it.

But then we lost control of it.

Money in Hollywood dictated that shows like Firefly didn’t have high enough ratings and were canceled. Ashton Kutcher turned Twitter into his own personal ego boost. Internet communities which used to be about connecting with like minded people have become replaced with people pushing their personal brand. Everyone wants followers, page views, click-throughs. With page views comes money. With followers comes power. Just look at the explosion of SEO and social media experts, not just on Twitter, on the Internet. They are everywhere! People offering to sell you their sure-fire secret for how to drive traffic to your page so you can make money on Google Ad-Sense. It’s not about us anymore, it’s about money. Our little private beach paradise had become the over crowded tourist spot.

But it’s not all bad.

There has been some good come out of this all. I’ve definitely met really cool people through Flickr, Twitter, and Facebook that I never would have met otherwise. I’m addicted being connected 24/7. I love that I can put a photo on Flickr and almost instantly get feedback on the quality of my work. I love that I can also share those photos with friends and family who live thousands of miles away. And I will continue using many of these sites and technologies in the future. I’m just a little sad that @aplusk drove a bulldozer through the wall of our private garden sanctuary and invited a million frat guys over for a kegger.

Honestly, I haven’t forgotten about my blog. I’ve just had the worst writers block for weeks now. Every time I sit down and try to write, I can’t think of anything interesting to say. I’ve been having much better luck on twitter (follow me!), flickr, and tumblr (jonassink.tumblr.com). Hopefully one of these days I’ll get back in the swing of things…

Just a friendly test post from the iPhone wordpress client. I could see getting a lot of use out of this.

I just finished off a couple more tweeks to the site.  Those of you following at home might notice the “next page” link at the bottom of the screen no longer hangs out in never-neverland and I added the date to the end of every post so you can see when it was written.  If you want to know the exact time, well you are being just a little too nosy.  I’m keeping that to myself!

I have a few more projects to finish this weekend including polishing up the background and adding an RSS subscription button to the sidebar.  I also need to figure out why WordPress and Google Analytics are no longer tracking stats from my site.  Fortunately the lijit wijit has been tracking them so I know people are visiting the site (from all over the world as a matter of fact!) but for some reason Google and WordPress are reporting zero visitors.  That might be a fix that is out of my league, but I’ll give it a shot.  Anyway, it’s been a good week but a long one too and bed beckons.  Later!

So I’ve been working this weekend on a new redesign of my blog, as you may have noticed.  I’ve still got a few things I need to work out, some links that don’t function right and stuff like that.  But so far so good.  The cool thing about this design is that I put it together myself.  I did have some help from a site called wpdesigner.com, and granted it isn’t overly complex, but I still feel a nice sense of accomplishment.  Mostly I wanted to do it to get my feet wet with PHP, the language used to build most of the page you are looking at.  Already there are a few things I was able to improve over the previous version of the site.  For instance, on the old version, when you clicked on the photo link at the top of the page, it took you to a temporary page that executed a line of html that then automatically forwarded you over to my flickr site.  Well, that link now goes directly  to flickr because I figured out where those links are generated.  Anyway, I’ll keep tweeking it a bit more and eventually I’ll probably add some cool new stuff as I get more comfortable with PHP and what CSS controls what.  Now though I’ve gotta go shoot a show at The Abbey.  At least tonight it is a friend I know!